That ‘growing up’ thing is a difficult concept for me, never understood it, and perhaps spectrum autism or just being plain immature conflicts with what we are told we should act like once we leave school, or get a job, or some other tick box.
….. But, the day I held my daughters hand as we were walking along, and she asked me a question and I looked down at her and saw, that whatever I answered she would accept as truth, that she literally ‘looked’ up to me. I felt ‘grown up’, I felt like I had responsibility (another word anathema to my psyche) , yes, it felt good but not because I felt grown up and adult, but it were more that I knew I could not in this situation be selfish and had to explain things correctly and truthfully. It was a difficult question, she had heard one of her friends dad had recently died and asked me if I would die. I told her I was Peter Pan and would live forever. Her smile and laughter was always worth more than being brutally honest.
”The knower of truth goes about the world (outwardly) as a child or a madman or a devil.” -Mahavakyaratnamala.
The Western Gate 
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