The first would be Psychic Self Defence by Dion fortune. Now , in hindsight perhaps not the classic by todays standard for those who foray into the world of the occult and esoteric, it was however my first, real, book on such matters. It was my sisters book, I stole it. There are many things that annoyed me. Dion Fortune littered her books with sentences that declared she could not dwell into this area within these pages, or kept us guessing, each blind and tempt encouraged the reader , well me, not only to research more deeply but to dabble in things hitherto warned not to. I bought all the books from her afterwards I could get, hoping somewhere, she would release the kraken and show us the knowledge of those ancient secrets from Atlantean masters and Inner Circle secret orders… she never did, but she did let on that someone else did…..
Yes, Aleister Crowley. That obnoxious foul arrogant pig of a man whose books released the Dutch boys finger from the dyke, and it was 777, a book of correspondences from the symbolism of every Occult and esoteric dabbling, wandering and mischief the crafting cunning would desire. I studied it hard, and all his books, many of which took ages from a paper round to afford. Why hadn’t Dion Fortune passed on this knowledge? what is this knowledge for the ‘select few’. It became my life as many coincidences and thoughts previous had led me absolutely to this path of self-gnosis.
But life, yes, would be drudgery to embark on reading only to research and to study, we need escapism, and from a young age I delved into gothic masterpieces, first from underground comics and then Edgar Allen Poe, his Complete Stories. His writing consumed me, he would describe a simple thought over pages, deeper and deeper, everyday happenings were fraught with anxiety and danger. I would read them at night before bed and slip into nightmares and lucid dreams. It was more than writing and words, stories and recollections, it was unravelling the shadow self, the inner quest to understand existentialism, the beauty of the night.








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